I've had friends call me crazy for this, but I beg to differ. Working in news, I encounter many mug shots where under different circumstances I would think, 'Heellooo!' until I see the guy was arrested for drugs, child abuse, assault... or something really disgusting. As it turns out, if I saw some of these guys in a bar, I might've been interested. But since criminal activity doesn't discriminate against the good-looking (take Chase Crawford, who was arrested earlier this year for possession... yummmm), I tend to look up a potential suitor's criminal history before I go out on a date with him.
Call me crazy, but I call it self-protection. However, I contend but what might be kind of crazy is me warning them beforehand by saying, "You don't have any criminal history do you.. because I WOULD FIND OUT," in a flirtatious but menacing voice -- channeling Isla Fisher in the bathroom scene with Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers.
Well turns out that warning paid off. I met a charming oddball in a bar one night last spring. We spent the evening belting karaoke tunes and he asked for my number.
The second date, we had a heart-to-heart conversation. Now 30 years old, I asked him what he had been doing since he graduated high school. In a prelude to his response, he added the disclaimer, "You aren't one of those people to judge, are you? I had a few rough years." To which I responded, "Everything's a learning experience" (or something along the same lines which I generally believe but of course there is a limit to everything) and he proceeded to tell me what happened.
Long story short... the dude was arrested not only for possession of illicit drugs but for selling. He got caught when some rival distributor or junkie broke in and burglarized his place, and he turned a gun on the dude. And he spent more than a year and a half in prison. And he wasn't just selling... he was USING... a story that left a burn in the pit of my stomach which was definitely not desire.
So, I rest my case. Thanks to my incessant and somewhat crazy inquiries to potential suitors, I was able to weed out a convicted felon. There's plenty of fish in the sea huh? Now to find one that's single, attractive, smart, gentlemanly, successful, compassionate -- without a criminal history -- this sea is looking more like a puddle every day.
Call me crazy, but I call it self-protection. However, I contend but what might be kind of crazy is me warning them beforehand by saying, "You don't have any criminal history do you.. because I WOULD FIND OUT," in a flirtatious but menacing voice -- channeling Isla Fisher in the bathroom scene with Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers.
Well turns out that warning paid off. I met a charming oddball in a bar one night last spring. We spent the evening belting karaoke tunes and he asked for my number.
The second date, we had a heart-to-heart conversation. Now 30 years old, I asked him what he had been doing since he graduated high school. In a prelude to his response, he added the disclaimer, "You aren't one of those people to judge, are you? I had a few rough years." To which I responded, "Everything's a learning experience" (or something along the same lines which I generally believe but of course there is a limit to everything) and he proceeded to tell me what happened.
Long story short... the dude was arrested not only for possession of illicit drugs but for selling. He got caught when some rival distributor or junkie broke in and burglarized his place, and he turned a gun on the dude. And he spent more than a year and a half in prison. And he wasn't just selling... he was USING... a story that left a burn in the pit of my stomach which was definitely not desire.
So, I rest my case. Thanks to my incessant and somewhat crazy inquiries to potential suitors, I was able to weed out a convicted felon. There's plenty of fish in the sea huh? Now to find one that's single, attractive, smart, gentlemanly, successful, compassionate -- without a criminal history -- this sea is looking more like a puddle every day.
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